Photographer.

So a few weeks ago, I saw a post on Craigslist about a professional photographer looking for models ages 3-13 to expand her personal portfolio. Well I emailed pictures of Frick and Frack and she said she'd like to do a session with them. In exchange for using our images for her portfolio and advertising we get two 8 x 10 pictures.

Frack loved the whole scene, she was quite the model, it was pretty funny. Frick....not so much, she just was nervous, which I would be too, so this is not her scene. I feel like a stage mom, but Frack really is good at this modeling thing.

Here is the photographer's blog, she's got Frack on the header, and there is an entry with a few of their pictures. Why do I see myself ordering way more than the two free 8 x 10's?

http://www.kholubek.blogspot.com/

Wow.

So like, who are they?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 7 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Content.

I guess traveling will make you appreciate home. I no longer miss MA. Sure, I visited with old friends, enjoyed a great roast beef sandwich, shopped at the Christmas Tree Shop, enjoyed the beach, but it was closure. I'm not saying I'll "never" live there again, because I firmly believe in never say never, but right now I'm content with where I am, and I won't be the person that I was when I left.

Traveling when you have kids sucks. I don't like leaving my kids, especially with The Suit in tow, I enjoyed alone time with the Suit, but we get that here, I don't like getting on a plane and leaving my children. I realize this is irrational, and I'm not a white knuckle flier, the opposite actually, but the thought of leaving my kids orphans is not a nice one. Again, we could be killed on the way to dinner in a car, but somehow this seems less likely (although statistics will tell you otherwise).

So we are back. While it was nice to see everyone, I couldn't help but feel that we're too old to be re-living the Real World, it felt odd, out of sorts. Of our fellow travelers, we are the only ones with children, this sets us apart greatly, makes you feel disconnected, but at the same time, grateful for what you have. I realize and respect the decisions of all my friends, and for each of them I know they have made the right decisions for themselves, and they are truly where they should be, but it still doesn't change the fact that things change.

I feel like with some, we just relive the past, over and over, while with others we have a present, and we laugh about the now and the future, reliving the past without a present makes me sad. People age, people grow apart, people lose touch, but for a few fleeting moments here and there you connect with what was, and for those few moments, you are happy, but sad at the same time, because people change, and they lose touch.

Shameless plea......

OK, here goes, R has this annoying fund raiser for school. The
kids that sell 15 items get pulled out of class and get to go to this
huge party with a bounce house, clowns, heck there is probably a pony
for all I know. I think this is a crock and insane, and I remember
when we were kids we just sold crap, and I think the person that sold
the most crap got a "prize". Something lame like a stuffed animal.
Needless to say I didn't sell much, but I digress this isn't about
me.....

Well now the PTA has upped the ante, make the poor kids feel left out
if they don't sell their share and they miss out on the special party.
All of their friends leave class and they are left to color alone,
waiting for them to return from the party with faced painted, chewing
gum, and holding all kinds of fun prizes. Nice, huh?

So you know where this is going....I've ordered some magazines, but
there aren't 15 that I want, but the prices on the magazines aren't
crazy, like ten bucks for a subscription. The other stuff, wrapping
paper, etc, well if that's your thing then by all means, order away.

So this stupid fund raiser closes as of this Friday, September 7th, as
in four days left to sell this stuff! Could you PLEASE look and see
if there is anything you might want? I swear you are all getting
cashews or empty gift bags from this place for Christmas if you don't
order something...ha,ha, but really please take a look so R can go
to this exclusive party, so she's not hounding me...PLEASE.....

Here's the link, you can order online, pay online, it's shipped to you, etc.

http://www.innisbrook.com/index_students.cfm?id1=R2453C&id2=&id3=

I suppose you want an update, huh?

270, that's the number of people I graduated with at Beverly High.
Let us do some math....
270 times 4, 1080
That would equal the rough total number of students at BHS between the ages of say, 14-19.
1100
That would be the number of kids in R's school.
Yes, 1100.
That's right 1100 children ages 5-11.
It's tricky to get 1100 little people where they need to be on a consistent basis day in and day out.
It's also tricky when there are no sidewalks leading up a school with 1100 students.
Everyone drives.
IT'S A CLUSTERFUCK!

Ahh...I feel better getting that off my chest.

One other thing about our school, we are about 1 mile from another elementary school with about the same number of students, that's a shit load of kids in a very small area! I don't think the Swampscott school system has 1100 students total, let alone in one elementary school!

OK....so there was a reason we were paying close to 6k in property taxes in Swampscott.

Enough politics.

So day one, we parked (dropped the van from the sky where ever it may land in the grass, amongst 1100 other minivans driven by parents dropped from the sky) and walked R into her class. No tears, just "bye". She seemed nervous, but not sad. She just sort of went in, and that was it. I could have easily cried, but I didn't. I went to "Tissues and Tea", which was a nice idea, but useless. You sit at a table and listen to a little spiel by the principal and the PTA. You're supposed to meet with the parents of your child's classmates. The problem being the only other parent from R's class was a man that seemed to forget that he needed to brush his teeth, this year, and forgot to change out of his PJ top. He was really nasty, told me his daughter's name, N, and I filed it away as a kid that I desperately DO NOT want R to play with. Then I saw my neighbor, and made up an excuse, and dashed!

The pick up.

It's like a deli, with your kid being the lunch meat. School lets out at 2:30, The Suit, C, and I rolled into "the line" at 2:02. We barely made it into the line, we were almost on the street. You have a number on your car. The staff at the school walk the line and with two way radios they radio in the numbers of the cars, you are placed into "waves", fifty or so cars each, (you are getting stressed just reading this, aren't you?). I was in "wave 3". So the kids sit in their classrooms and watch a television screen waiting for their number (think Keno all you Massholes). The numbers flash on the screen and your five year old is supposed to A. know and recognize her number and B. Notice what "wave" her number is in. Then she is supposed to walk out into Olympic Stadium and find the 5th grader holding a flag in the air (think the Olympic ceremony) that represents her wave. The she is supposed to follow this 5th grader out to the front of the school. Then she is "paraded" in the middle of two "waves", with the expectation that she will recognize her car.

R failed this portion of day one at Kindergarten. Shocking isn't it, considering how clear and easy that sounds, huh?

That's R's side of the deal.

Here is mine. Wait in line for 40 minutes with the car idling in 100 (I'm not exaggerating) degree weather. Suddenly things start to happen. Cars are moving, you feel like you are at a Nascar event, you move forward, get close, start pining for your kid, looking, looking, looking, then all the sudden the checkered flag is waving and you're supposed to "GO". "WAIT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KID? I DO NOT HAVE A KID IN MY CAR! I'M NOT FUCKING MOVING (think of the happiness of the 500 cars behind you as you dig in your heels because you did not just wait in that line for 4o minutes to leave this effing line without a kid, any kid!). Luckily the flag waver sees your distress and she says "just pull around, we'll do a recall". So then you have to park (in shame--we failed pick up day 1) and hope. So they did a "recall" and R finally comes strolling out, oblivious.

Thankfully she did not have any clue that there was a problem. She was "watching the neat tv and looking at all the cool numbers". "Did you see YOUR number?" "MY number?" "Yes, the one I wrote on your backpack?" "Oh, I was supposed to be looking for MY number?" "Yes, who's number did you think you were supposed to be looking for?" "I don't know, we were watching the tv with the numbers."

So.......R did not have any clue as to the process. She does not have a future working in the deli.

Her day was fine, so we think, she revealed very little. She did say that there was one girl that was "irritating". I tried to figure out who, but that was futile.

I went into school today for the drop off, (dropped from the sky once again) and informed her teacher that R has no idea what the car process is, and could she please explain it to her. "Sure". Thankfully her teacher is really sweet, so that is good.

Our school is neat in that you can eat lunch with your child when ever you like. Anyone can, grandparents, Dad's, pedophiles, etc.

I ate lunch with R today (ok had coffee, since it was 10:00 AM and all). She was pretty surprised. I sat at her table and assessed the class. Three children do not speak English, as in NO ENGLISH, again, I'm too tired to get political, but let's just say I'm less than pleased. There are 25 students in her class. 1 aide. Many of the kids are less than ideal, but R seems pretty oblivious, I did find two girls suitable (don't I sound horrible), and I told R she should try to play with them at recess "Why? Because she has braids like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz." "Yes, honey, that's why". It was funny when I was chatting with the kids I'd ask their names and they show you their "necklace" which was a little badge on string that has their name, address, car rider number, and teacher. All I could think of was "lost baggage", like what if we lose the badge, then maybe I should tattoo that information to R's tummy..but I digress. R made it a point to show me the "irritating" girl from yesterday at the other table. I had to agree, she looked a bit irritating, but I managed to say "Oh, I see".

Another little boy in her class, but thankfully not at our table puked. I had to help the teacher get the kids back to the classroom since the aide took him to the nurse. As I was trying to corral this group of wanderers back to their room, I was a the end of the line with the irritating girl. I asked her name, she pulled out her badge, "N", wouldn't you know irritating girl was the daughter of PJ wearing non-teeth brushing Daddy. Figures.

The best part of today...I hit the lottery.

Wave 7, SHE MADE IT TO THE CAR!

Teacher, met.

So that went fine. It was a mob scene, but it was fine. R's teacher seems very nice, and R enjoyed playing in the classroom. There were all of these sign up sheets on the tables, for things like snack, reading, helping copy, room mom, etc. Well I signed up for a few and kept an eye on the room mom sheet. Sure enough no one signed up. So me with the big sucker sticker on my forehead signed her life away. I'm officially the room mom of Room 2. I have a feeling this will be a fairly intense undertaking. I hope to God, I'm not expected to be in the room 24/7, 'cause well....I'm not the teacher...we'll see.

The Suit had never been to the school, and due to his crappy job almost missed this opportunity too, but he stood up for himself and was able to come. I feel really badly for him. He's a hands on Daddy, missing the school tour months ago really bothered him, almost missing Meet the Teacher would have killed him. Top that off with the fact that this last schedule had him missing Meet the Teacher AND C's first day of pre-school, let's just say he almost quit. The Bitch at work was less than understanding, but he was able to finagle and get both off. Of course he has to work a bzillion "Guilt" hours, but at least he won't miss those two special things. The girls really are lucky to have a Daddy that wants to be at all of their events, and is really truly upset if he can't. He's a keeper.

C had her Meet the Teacher tonight too. She might not be as carefree as I had originally thought, I wonder if some tears might be shed on her part come Tuesday. Lord knows if she cries I'll be a puddle. God. Help. Me.

Guess it's really going to happen.

That whole kindergarten thing, and all. I really, really wish I was looking forward to the "free" time when the kids are in school. I wish I was "ready" for them to go to school. I wish I was counting the days, but you know what:

I'M NOT.

I went to the school today to get R's "car rider" number. It's like a deli. Pull up, get in line, then someone on a walkie talkie walks around and "radios" your number in, and then your child sits in their classroom staring at a tv screen that shows them the numbers. When their number is "up", they get in line, and off to the front they go. There they are loaded into the masses of minivans and SUVs.

They really didn't have that system when we were kids. When I was a kid I would walk alone in plain sight of all potential kidnappers to the bike rack, enter the combination on my chain lock (1234, so uncrackable), hop on my banana seat bike, and ride the road home. Sure I didn't do that in kindergarten, it was 1st grade, then it was safe. I didn't have any real rules about stopping on the way home, I'm sure my Mom would have been alarmed if I didn't show up by 4:00, but really for that time after school, I was free.

My five year old will not be free. I will wait in line, everyday, and I will pick her up. We'll drive the half mile home (trust me if there were sidewalks, we'd walk...it's not a great road to walk on--certainly not for my baby), then we'll have a snack, I'll find out about her day, and I'll hold her a little closer, wish her to be little a bit longer. Wish her to hold her innocence a little longer. Wish her happy days, and restful nights. Wish her worries away, kiss her tears, and cheer her achievements. Listen to her read to me.

5 days a week for 6.5 hours a day, she'll be "there".

R starts on Monday, C follows close behind on Tuesday with her first day in pre-k. Firsts all around here in the Parker house.

I know next week is an important week for my girls, I will pretend to be excited, but really I'm sad, I will miss them. I know they will learn, make friends, and have experiences that I cannot give them, but I will miss them.

I will miss them.

I wonder if my Mom misses me, I bet so.

Being a Mom really is a hard job, the hardest I've ever had.