I had to wait

and make certain that my hair wasn't going to fall out...y'know that whole 48 hour strand test that no one ever does....well we're on day 4, so I'm thinking I'm safe.

It all started pretty innocently. I took my Mom to Ulta on Friday to buy new makeup for her birthday. On a side note her birthday isn't until the 13th, but we both agreed, "why delay beauty?", so Ulta it was a few weeks early.

I picked up some notions, Mom picked up some mineral make up and then the girls and I ate lunch at Salsarita's, a delightful restaurant. Of course in walking to Salsarita's I noticed a Great Clips..and I always try to get my hair cut at really fancy places, so I just couldn't resist Great Clips, the fanciest of the fancy.

Annabelle cut my hair, she's about 90. Luckily I only needed a basic trim, so 2 inches later I was on my way. Back up to just below my chin, looked good, but of course I noticed my roots as she was trimming and I decided to hit CVS to pick up a box of Feria.

I had Frick and Frack in tow and off to CVS we go. I threw caution to the wind and decided, I'm going to get dark brown, not medium brown. See I don't dye my hair because I want fun colors, I want my color, only without the gray (is that a line in a commercial?). Whenever I color my hair in about 8-12 weeks it seems to turn sort of orangy...I was not born with orange hair...it's dark brown. I thought that by purchasing dark brown color, I was staying true to my roots (God, I am so freakin' funny...."roots").

So we get home and it's about 1:30, the Suit is coming home at 4:00. I set Frick and Frack up in front of Enchanted for the second time of the week, and I hit my bathroom for a date with Feria. 25 minutes later......I shower.....I notice that the hair in my hands is VERY thick....I decide that must just be a fluke. I dry my hair, it is freakin' Gothic black, we're talking give me a lip ring some red lipstick and I'm a shoo in for a job at the local used record store! OMG...WTF....this is "dark brown"? No, this is BLACK!

So, I decide to wash it like ten times. Nothing, still gothic Black. I decide to wash it with baking soda (now I'm insane...). Nothing, still gothic black..and dry and brittle.

Do I stop here? Hell no.

Off to Rite Aid we go...because you know I can't risk that the $8.00 an hour clerk at CVS will recognize me from an hour ago......

I buy Oops I effed up my hair color remover and of course I get extra strength because extra strength must be better.....on a side note, who buys "regular", other than tampons, when is regular better? Really EXTRA is always BETTER!

So this product says, "returns your hair to the color before you got all stupid and picked that God awful color". I thought, this is good. Let's give it a go. This stuff smells like crap. Like those terrible Rave perms my Mom used to torture me with in elementary (yes, you read that right...6 years old and permed!) school. It has to sit for an hour...YUCK! So I waited and watched me some Oprah, not knowing that my next 72 hours could land me on Oprah.

So I wait the hour, rinse it out forever, and look...not the orange of before, but actually a nice brown. Almost MY BROWN. Almost. THIS IS WHERE I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED, PUT DOWN THE HAIR COLOR, WALKED AWAY. I actually thought that hair color purchases should be like Sudafed, you have to sign in a little book and then ding, "no I'm sorry ma'am you've met your quota for Feria this week, you'll have to wait a week". I can't leave well enough alone though, while I was at Rite Aid I had purchased "medium brown" assuming I'd just do the same old same old and be fine, or not.

The Suit came home, liked the hair cut and barely noticed the color.

I slept on it...and then in the morning decided I had a date with Medium Brown. If your counting we've colored, uncolored, and we're coloring again. 12 hours.

I do the unusual..25 minutes, blah, blah, blah.. wash dry....GOTHIC BLACK. AGAIN. OMG.. WTF????

So I drag Frick and Frack out and this time we go back to CVS (that lady can't be working today, right? wrong). So I hit the hair color aisle and buy this
this is old school, we sold it at Brooks back in the 80s when I was a checker. It's tried and true, right? The fact that is said, "YOU MUST COLOR YOUR HAIR AFTER USING THIS BATTERY ACID" should have been a warning....to me it said, "Pick up another box of hair color while you're at it, what's another ten bucks idiot". The clerk proceeded to tell my kids "you're beautiful, you don't have to color your hair like, Mommy". Jerk.

So I did this one Saturday around noon. It took an hour and in one hour I was a platinum blond. I was Madonna. I was Paris Hilton. I was so hot. I was freaking out and had not told anyone of my shenanigans over the last 16 hours. I was screwed. So I proceeded to prepare my mandatory hair color, at this point I can't remember the color...the chemicals are getting the best of me. I colored my hair and it was kinda red, kinda orange, kinda Belinda Carlisle in the Circle in the Sand video. Now in high school I wanted that hair color...not so much now. I had to call Tina to get a second opinion. I was blurry from all the colors...I really needed an objective viewer.

She said, "LEAVE IT ALONE IT'S FINE, NOT PERFECT, BUT FINE, DON'T TOUCH IT". OK...sure.....I went out that night with the girls. Everyone agreed, just leave it, except for Gretchen. Gretchen was all I needed. She gave the courage to open another box of color. So in the wee hours of Sunday morning I hit Walgreen's and bought me some Ash Brown...apparently the ash is the key.

I am now....back to normal! My hair is completely fried...very unhappy with me, but it's brown!

If you're counting:

Cut
Color
Uncolor
Color
Uncolor
Color
Color

Just a few processes......I'm so lucky I still have hair...so lucky.