And while we're at it.

I think this would fall under a public service announcement. Seems that the One Step Ahead cataloge has come up with some handy new products for us parents of the world. I couldn't just see these wonderful finds without sharing with you, my adoring public. Enjoy.

Turning your attention to page 18 of the cataloge. This amazing light allows you to "get the job done without waking baby". Now I'm noticing that in this picture baby is in fact, awake. Maybe this mommy wore her clip on robe light a little high on the collar? Maybe a lower placement would have allowed her to "get the job done". Still a nifty gadget, I'm sure it will provide hours of changing pleasure for both Mommy and Daddy. Just be careful to remove this light when running out to the driveway to grab the paper, wouldn't want your neighbors to think you are a FREAK!

Ahh...page 36, "Make baby's first steps safer". What a great idea! I could hardly bare the thought of leaning down to hold my little one's hands for those "walking lessons". Now you too can give birth and raise your very own Pinocchio! I think I'll order a few and change my name to Gepetto.
And last but not least, on page 27, "Make bathtime safer". This truly amazing product takes the mission of obtaining baby soap on your hand while holding the baby safely. Just place your hand under this product and magically soap appears on your hand! I for one know how incredibly arduous it was to do this task with one hand! An added bonus imagine the fun the toddler in your house will have with this product should you mistakenly leave it in the bathtub. Soap for All!

So rush out and order these products, I expect there to be some difficulty in obtaining them once everyone reads my review. Hurry...go.....now!

As promised for Susie Q.

Let's travel down memory lane, shall we? Let us begin in the third grade.
I bet you're wondering how I have two children having obviously had a sex change. No, that is actually a girl. Scary....I loved my "wings". And I remember that shirt, I looked like quite the strapping young man.

So we moved two years later, and thankfully we moved into a neighborhood with some girls, my hair grew. This next picture was taken in Florida at my grandparents house. I was doing some Breck hair commercial. That isn't the important thing to note, note the awesome iron on transfer t-shirt with E.T. Now that's cool.
OK this next one is disturbing on a few levels. See I'm wearing a Panama Jack t-shirt. That's scary, as are my Nair short shorts. Now looking more closely you'll see my Mom smiling demonically as she readies herself to cook on the old gas grill. Sure scary, but then you notice my sister crouching next to said gas grill, assumingly throwing in a lit match. I was in 6th grade. I remember doing this task for my Mom too, she was too scared to throw the match in the grill, so she'd summon us. Hmmm....questionable parenting, but it was the 80s after all. Not my sister's rockin' hair. She was H O T.

Here' I am modeling in the bushes. Speaking of H O T. I vividly recall my sister and I taking this picture. We were going to win modeling contracts from Teen Beat. After, of course, we spent our millions from those contests where we drew that turtle. Now that's where the real money is.

My Mom went to Essex Aggie for hairstyling. Can you tell that she was really popular with my sister and I, and her friend Wendy? She was really amazing at the Rave Spiral Perm. I know you're all jealous. This was right around the time that I found Sun In. Or Orange In in my case. BTW I loved this dress, cap sleeves and all!

This is eight grade. I think I look fairly normal, barring my patriotic choice of clothes. It's funny, as you'll see I look like this A LOT. I wish my arms were that thin now. Sigh.

Oh dear! I've lost the bangs, forgotten to do the eyebrows, and gone REALLY BOLD in the clothing department! I loved this shirt, it was Polo and I got it a Filene's Basement, circa year when Leah Deveau worked there and stole things on a daily basis. She was an unfortunate girl, and she was a bitch for not telling me to ditch the horizontal stripes!

Ahh the not so Nuclear Family. See anyone missing from this shot? This starts the red years. Someone must have said I looked good in red, because I wore it to death. Sad that I'm the one that looks good in this picture. Would you look at my Mom's hair, and she looks like she's got a nasty piece of meat in her mouth and she needs a napkin. And my sister.....oh Jenn, Jenn, Jenn....the hair. Makes me feel good about my flat do.

Here we go with the red again. This is my senior picture. I was 17 in this picture. That was 17 years ago. I don't look much different today. At our 10 year reunion they had this picture on my name tag. I was embarrassed because I looked exactly the same. I hate that guido gold chain around my neck. Yucky!

Here we are in my nautical phase. This is Jenn's graduation from college. With my sailor dress and my Mom's horrible dress, we are not looking like the beautiful family. Unfortunate clothing choices, all around.



And who could forget the dress? I had this lovely piece specifically made by Susan Wonderly herself. The damn thing fell apart mid prom. That ruffle on the top became a tray, and I could have served hor'doeurves to the other prom goers. Luckily there was a sweetheart neckline underneath, or I would have been in trouble. Heather, Chris, Carol, Alison, and Sarah I'm calling you all out...why didn't you tell me that Mick was not attractive? What did I ever see in him?

And that, my friends, will conclude my walk down memory lane. See Suzanne, you're not the only one with skeletons!

Happy Birthday, Suit.

So the Suit is officially only one year younger than me again. This 3.5 weeks of me being 2 years older really needs to end. Nah..nah...you're 34, I'm only 32....nah, nah, nah...well welcome to 33 Buddy!

Actually I'm feeling a bit glum for the Suit today. See he's been in a crap job situation for sometime, and it just gets worse and worse. He's always having to sign and pass on birthday cards in his insane club, but he went unrecognized today. That's just crap. Apparently there is a birthday "list" on the cork board, guess no one has looked at it lately. I hope it was an oversight, but still that just sucks. He interviewed for a new job about a month ago, and we're still in "waiting", he deserves this job, the interview went great, but it's one of those not really sure if there is a job situations. He casually mentioned to a guy from another club that he was looking and the guy said to send over his resume. He did, Guy called, Suit interviewed, went great, I'll call in a week or two, no call, Suit sees Guy at work, Guy seeks him out all friendly "I'll call you Suit". That was over a week ago, again, no call. It's like some cruel joke, toying with the Suit. Truly though this guy is genuinely nice, not a screwer, so I'm guessing that there isn't a job yet, but when and if there is the Suit will be tapped. Not a fun way to wait, every day "Did the Guy call?" Breaks my heart to continuously say "No.". Sigh.

We went out to dinner last night to celebrate since he's working the next 6 nights...did I mention he loves his job? We went to Bonefish, it was good, I had tuna. Then we went to see Reign Over Me. The Adam Sandler movie about losing his family in 9/11. I knew it was not a comedy it wasn't horrible, but a bit draggy, I think I was expecting more of a 9/11 story and that was really a very minor part of the movie. I did however find Liv Tyler to be adorable, I think if I was going to switch to the other team I'd go for her, she's quite stunning. Amazing that her dad is Steven Tyler, she seems so not like Steven Tyler's daughter.

R has been on spring break this week. I've had no soccer and no swim team. I'm beginning to see what life would be like without those activities....NICE! Oh well. R has been driving me nuts though, she needs activity, every day, "Is it school today?"

I've been gardening like mad. It's been in the 80s so on Monday I planted my cucumbers, zucchini, summer squash, and two heirloom tomato plants. Yahoo....you say. Fucking frost tonight! Damned frost, frost and 80 degrees in the same week. What is that shit? So I tucked my plants in tonight, I think I lost come cucumbers last night, luckily those are easy enough to grow, I'm praying I don't lose my tomatoes. I got my tomato plant order today, I ordered 18 heirloom plants. I think the FedEx guy played volleyball with the box, a few didn't fare too well, I might have some replacements on the way because of the transit "issues".

I'm going to save seeds from all my plants this year so I can start my own next year, $60.00 bucks for 18 plants is a bit pricey. I did start some plants of my own however! Have you ever had Campari Tomatoes ? They are like $40.00 for like 8 tomatoes, but they are the most delicious tomatoes, especially in the winter when all tomatoes taste like crap. Well I saved some seeds from one and now I have six little Campari Tomato plants growing. I feel very Martha with my little harem of plants growing. I have a feeling that this gardening thing is going to get out of hand, what with 26 tomato plants and all. The Suit thinks I should just till up the whole yard and start a farm. Maybe next year.

I have a very funny blog in my head, I need to get to a scanner....yes, it's one of "those". Maybe this weekend.....that is if you're all good.