I suppose you want an update, huh?

270, that's the number of people I graduated with at Beverly High.
Let us do some math....
270 times 4, 1080
That would equal the rough total number of students at BHS between the ages of say, 14-19.
1100
That would be the number of kids in R's school.
Yes, 1100.
That's right 1100 children ages 5-11.
It's tricky to get 1100 little people where they need to be on a consistent basis day in and day out.
It's also tricky when there are no sidewalks leading up a school with 1100 students.
Everyone drives.
IT'S A CLUSTERFUCK!

Ahh...I feel better getting that off my chest.

One other thing about our school, we are about 1 mile from another elementary school with about the same number of students, that's a shit load of kids in a very small area! I don't think the Swampscott school system has 1100 students total, let alone in one elementary school!

OK....so there was a reason we were paying close to 6k in property taxes in Swampscott.

Enough politics.

So day one, we parked (dropped the van from the sky where ever it may land in the grass, amongst 1100 other minivans driven by parents dropped from the sky) and walked R into her class. No tears, just "bye". She seemed nervous, but not sad. She just sort of went in, and that was it. I could have easily cried, but I didn't. I went to "Tissues and Tea", which was a nice idea, but useless. You sit at a table and listen to a little spiel by the principal and the PTA. You're supposed to meet with the parents of your child's classmates. The problem being the only other parent from R's class was a man that seemed to forget that he needed to brush his teeth, this year, and forgot to change out of his PJ top. He was really nasty, told me his daughter's name, N, and I filed it away as a kid that I desperately DO NOT want R to play with. Then I saw my neighbor, and made up an excuse, and dashed!

The pick up.

It's like a deli, with your kid being the lunch meat. School lets out at 2:30, The Suit, C, and I rolled into "the line" at 2:02. We barely made it into the line, we were almost on the street. You have a number on your car. The staff at the school walk the line and with two way radios they radio in the numbers of the cars, you are placed into "waves", fifty or so cars each, (you are getting stressed just reading this, aren't you?). I was in "wave 3". So the kids sit in their classrooms and watch a television screen waiting for their number (think Keno all you Massholes). The numbers flash on the screen and your five year old is supposed to A. know and recognize her number and B. Notice what "wave" her number is in. Then she is supposed to walk out into Olympic Stadium and find the 5th grader holding a flag in the air (think the Olympic ceremony) that represents her wave. The she is supposed to follow this 5th grader out to the front of the school. Then she is "paraded" in the middle of two "waves", with the expectation that she will recognize her car.

R failed this portion of day one at Kindergarten. Shocking isn't it, considering how clear and easy that sounds, huh?

That's R's side of the deal.

Here is mine. Wait in line for 40 minutes with the car idling in 100 (I'm not exaggerating) degree weather. Suddenly things start to happen. Cars are moving, you feel like you are at a Nascar event, you move forward, get close, start pining for your kid, looking, looking, looking, then all the sudden the checkered flag is waving and you're supposed to "GO". "WAIT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KID? I DO NOT HAVE A KID IN MY CAR! I'M NOT FUCKING MOVING (think of the happiness of the 500 cars behind you as you dig in your heels because you did not just wait in that line for 4o minutes to leave this effing line without a kid, any kid!). Luckily the flag waver sees your distress and she says "just pull around, we'll do a recall". So then you have to park (in shame--we failed pick up day 1) and hope. So they did a "recall" and R finally comes strolling out, oblivious.

Thankfully she did not have any clue that there was a problem. She was "watching the neat tv and looking at all the cool numbers". "Did you see YOUR number?" "MY number?" "Yes, the one I wrote on your backpack?" "Oh, I was supposed to be looking for MY number?" "Yes, who's number did you think you were supposed to be looking for?" "I don't know, we were watching the tv with the numbers."

So.......R did not have any clue as to the process. She does not have a future working in the deli.

Her day was fine, so we think, she revealed very little. She did say that there was one girl that was "irritating". I tried to figure out who, but that was futile.

I went into school today for the drop off, (dropped from the sky once again) and informed her teacher that R has no idea what the car process is, and could she please explain it to her. "Sure". Thankfully her teacher is really sweet, so that is good.

Our school is neat in that you can eat lunch with your child when ever you like. Anyone can, grandparents, Dad's, pedophiles, etc.

I ate lunch with R today (ok had coffee, since it was 10:00 AM and all). She was pretty surprised. I sat at her table and assessed the class. Three children do not speak English, as in NO ENGLISH, again, I'm too tired to get political, but let's just say I'm less than pleased. There are 25 students in her class. 1 aide. Many of the kids are less than ideal, but R seems pretty oblivious, I did find two girls suitable (don't I sound horrible), and I told R she should try to play with them at recess "Why? Because she has braids like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz." "Yes, honey, that's why". It was funny when I was chatting with the kids I'd ask their names and they show you their "necklace" which was a little badge on string that has their name, address, car rider number, and teacher. All I could think of was "lost baggage", like what if we lose the badge, then maybe I should tattoo that information to R's tummy..but I digress. R made it a point to show me the "irritating" girl from yesterday at the other table. I had to agree, she looked a bit irritating, but I managed to say "Oh, I see".

Another little boy in her class, but thankfully not at our table puked. I had to help the teacher get the kids back to the classroom since the aide took him to the nurse. As I was trying to corral this group of wanderers back to their room, I was a the end of the line with the irritating girl. I asked her name, she pulled out her badge, "N", wouldn't you know irritating girl was the daughter of PJ wearing non-teeth brushing Daddy. Figures.

The best part of today...I hit the lottery.

Wave 7, SHE MADE IT TO THE CAR!

Teacher, met.

So that went fine. It was a mob scene, but it was fine. R's teacher seems very nice, and R enjoyed playing in the classroom. There were all of these sign up sheets on the tables, for things like snack, reading, helping copy, room mom, etc. Well I signed up for a few and kept an eye on the room mom sheet. Sure enough no one signed up. So me with the big sucker sticker on my forehead signed her life away. I'm officially the room mom of Room 2. I have a feeling this will be a fairly intense undertaking. I hope to God, I'm not expected to be in the room 24/7, 'cause well....I'm not the teacher...we'll see.

The Suit had never been to the school, and due to his crappy job almost missed this opportunity too, but he stood up for himself and was able to come. I feel really badly for him. He's a hands on Daddy, missing the school tour months ago really bothered him, almost missing Meet the Teacher would have killed him. Top that off with the fact that this last schedule had him missing Meet the Teacher AND C's first day of pre-school, let's just say he almost quit. The Bitch at work was less than understanding, but he was able to finagle and get both off. Of course he has to work a bzillion "Guilt" hours, but at least he won't miss those two special things. The girls really are lucky to have a Daddy that wants to be at all of their events, and is really truly upset if he can't. He's a keeper.

C had her Meet the Teacher tonight too. She might not be as carefree as I had originally thought, I wonder if some tears might be shed on her part come Tuesday. Lord knows if she cries I'll be a puddle. God. Help. Me.

Guess it's really going to happen.

That whole kindergarten thing, and all. I really, really wish I was looking forward to the "free" time when the kids are in school. I wish I was "ready" for them to go to school. I wish I was counting the days, but you know what:

I'M NOT.

I went to the school today to get R's "car rider" number. It's like a deli. Pull up, get in line, then someone on a walkie talkie walks around and "radios" your number in, and then your child sits in their classroom staring at a tv screen that shows them the numbers. When their number is "up", they get in line, and off to the front they go. There they are loaded into the masses of minivans and SUVs.

They really didn't have that system when we were kids. When I was a kid I would walk alone in plain sight of all potential kidnappers to the bike rack, enter the combination on my chain lock (1234, so uncrackable), hop on my banana seat bike, and ride the road home. Sure I didn't do that in kindergarten, it was 1st grade, then it was safe. I didn't have any real rules about stopping on the way home, I'm sure my Mom would have been alarmed if I didn't show up by 4:00, but really for that time after school, I was free.

My five year old will not be free. I will wait in line, everyday, and I will pick her up. We'll drive the half mile home (trust me if there were sidewalks, we'd walk...it's not a great road to walk on--certainly not for my baby), then we'll have a snack, I'll find out about her day, and I'll hold her a little closer, wish her to be little a bit longer. Wish her to hold her innocence a little longer. Wish her happy days, and restful nights. Wish her worries away, kiss her tears, and cheer her achievements. Listen to her read to me.

5 days a week for 6.5 hours a day, she'll be "there".

R starts on Monday, C follows close behind on Tuesday with her first day in pre-k. Firsts all around here in the Parker house.

I know next week is an important week for my girls, I will pretend to be excited, but really I'm sad, I will miss them. I know they will learn, make friends, and have experiences that I cannot give them, but I will miss them.

I will miss them.

I wonder if my Mom misses me, I bet so.

Being a Mom really is a hard job, the hardest I've ever had.

I had surgery today.

In my sister's bedroom. Gotta love having a sister that is a doctor.

I've had this annoying "growth" on my chest, right at my bra/bathing suit line since I was about 14. It's not cancerous and was the size of an eraserhead. It's an annoyance. Not really a "skintag" (I just googled images, they were gross, I won't scare you), but just sort of a moley thing.

So the doctor said he'd take it off. I mentioned it to Dr. Jenn and she said, "I can do it for free". Magic word, "free". So while the girls were watching Tangerine Bear with their cousins, I was doing my pre-op testing.

So she shot me with Novocaine, pulled out the scalpel, and sliced that fucker right off. That thing that's been on my body forever, looked really yucky in my sister's gloved hands.

My post op recovery was spent in the living room watching my nephew bounce off the walls.

It bleed fairly profusely for a bit and gave my sister a heart attack, and I could see that she was deciding if she should drive me to the office to cauterize, but it stopped, all's well. Jenn's not thrilled with her work, and is promising a re-do if it scars, I told her I don't care, it's off that's worth any scar!

In other news. 105 today....guess what? Someone decided to shit in the pool. Closed until Saturday afternoon. Tomorrow's temp, 105, Saturday (Cold Front) 98.

I'm actually fine with skipping the pool for a few days, however shitting in the pool is really freakin' gross!

BTW: The Shitter, 6 year old girl.

Little Shit.

Phew!

So we apparently got a good teacher! Unfortunately R is not in Ben's class, and we're not sure if evil neighbor girl is in her class (they are at the beach), but we'll see. Her teacher has been a teacher for 29 years, and she's a grandmother of 3, I figure that's a good thing. We can get the new hip teachers down the road. From what I've heard she's every bit a grandmother, always happy, nurturing, etc. That's what R needs! Her list of supplies is pretty minimal and we already have most of the stuff, so that's a good thing.

R and C both got their ears pierced today. Funny how life goes full circle. My little munchkins both their ears pierced at the same mall that I did, about 25 years later! R has been asking for a while, and C was originally against the idea, but then changed her mind. We went to the mall and picked out their earrings. I was fully expecting them to back out, but R was determined. She hopped into the chair, and sat there like a champ. I don't really think she knew what was coming. The place we went was cool because they did both ears at the same time. After the "blast" she started to cry, just a bit though. I gave her a big hug and she did manage a smile when she looked in the mirror at her "diamonds".

At this point I fully expected C to hit the mall running. She cried for R, but when asked she said she was getting hers done too. I was shocked. She sat in my lap and had hers done. She cried more than R, but we did bring her wooby in anticipation of the tears. A few lollipops and the wooby did the trick. We were fine. They sure do grow up quickly, I can't believe the both went through with it. I was totally fine if they decided to back out, but they didn't. R loves them, looks at herself whenever she can, she twists them perfectly and is being good about the cleaning. C, not so much, maybe she wasn't ready, but it's hard to say no, they are 18 months apart, but I feel bad telling her no. We'll see if they stay in.

So school starts very soon, we've been trying to wake up early, it's not working, we're lucky if we get up before 8:00. Considering that we have to leave the house at 7:30 come school time, this could be a problem......homeschooling here we come! Ha, ha.

Nervous excitement!

I cannot place this feeling, maybe like when your SAT scores come in the mail, or when the "thick" envelope from the college of your dreams arrives? I went to R's school today to see if I could pry out of them who her teacher is (under the guise of asking for the supply list) and the Secretary said that the letters from the teachers were mailed out yesterday! I should know today or tomorrow who will be stealing my daughter for 180 days!

She has one friend in the neighborhood Ben, and I hope that he's in her class...there's another neighbor girl that I hope is NOT in her class....of course that Mom is on vacation this week, so I won't know if they are in the same class until next week.....I so would love to steal her letter from her mailbox and see who she has! Guess that's some kind of federal crime or something like that, they surely didn't pass that law with a bunch of Mom's trying to find out if the evil neighbor is in their kids kindergarten class, that's for sure.

I'll keep you posted.

In other exciting news, I've had every orifice violated in the last 24 hours. Pap smear, blood work, eye test, urine sample, and my personal favorite the tetanus shot. My arm is killing me! Fun times for me.