I suppose you want an update, huh?

270, that's the number of people I graduated with at Beverly High.
Let us do some math....
270 times 4, 1080
That would equal the rough total number of students at BHS between the ages of say, 14-19.
1100
That would be the number of kids in R's school.
Yes, 1100.
That's right 1100 children ages 5-11.
It's tricky to get 1100 little people where they need to be on a consistent basis day in and day out.
It's also tricky when there are no sidewalks leading up a school with 1100 students.
Everyone drives.
IT'S A CLUSTERFUCK!

Ahh...I feel better getting that off my chest.

One other thing about our school, we are about 1 mile from another elementary school with about the same number of students, that's a shit load of kids in a very small area! I don't think the Swampscott school system has 1100 students total, let alone in one elementary school!

OK....so there was a reason we were paying close to 6k in property taxes in Swampscott.

Enough politics.

So day one, we parked (dropped the van from the sky where ever it may land in the grass, amongst 1100 other minivans driven by parents dropped from the sky) and walked R into her class. No tears, just "bye". She seemed nervous, but not sad. She just sort of went in, and that was it. I could have easily cried, but I didn't. I went to "Tissues and Tea", which was a nice idea, but useless. You sit at a table and listen to a little spiel by the principal and the PTA. You're supposed to meet with the parents of your child's classmates. The problem being the only other parent from R's class was a man that seemed to forget that he needed to brush his teeth, this year, and forgot to change out of his PJ top. He was really nasty, told me his daughter's name, N, and I filed it away as a kid that I desperately DO NOT want R to play with. Then I saw my neighbor, and made up an excuse, and dashed!

The pick up.

It's like a deli, with your kid being the lunch meat. School lets out at 2:30, The Suit, C, and I rolled into "the line" at 2:02. We barely made it into the line, we were almost on the street. You have a number on your car. The staff at the school walk the line and with two way radios they radio in the numbers of the cars, you are placed into "waves", fifty or so cars each, (you are getting stressed just reading this, aren't you?). I was in "wave 3". So the kids sit in their classrooms and watch a television screen waiting for their number (think Keno all you Massholes). The numbers flash on the screen and your five year old is supposed to A. know and recognize her number and B. Notice what "wave" her number is in. Then she is supposed to walk out into Olympic Stadium and find the 5th grader holding a flag in the air (think the Olympic ceremony) that represents her wave. The she is supposed to follow this 5th grader out to the front of the school. Then she is "paraded" in the middle of two "waves", with the expectation that she will recognize her car.

R failed this portion of day one at Kindergarten. Shocking isn't it, considering how clear and easy that sounds, huh?

That's R's side of the deal.

Here is mine. Wait in line for 40 minutes with the car idling in 100 (I'm not exaggerating) degree weather. Suddenly things start to happen. Cars are moving, you feel like you are at a Nascar event, you move forward, get close, start pining for your kid, looking, looking, looking, then all the sudden the checkered flag is waving and you're supposed to "GO". "WAIT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KID? I DO NOT HAVE A KID IN MY CAR! I'M NOT FUCKING MOVING (think of the happiness of the 500 cars behind you as you dig in your heels because you did not just wait in that line for 4o minutes to leave this effing line without a kid, any kid!). Luckily the flag waver sees your distress and she says "just pull around, we'll do a recall". So then you have to park (in shame--we failed pick up day 1) and hope. So they did a "recall" and R finally comes strolling out, oblivious.

Thankfully she did not have any clue that there was a problem. She was "watching the neat tv and looking at all the cool numbers". "Did you see YOUR number?" "MY number?" "Yes, the one I wrote on your backpack?" "Oh, I was supposed to be looking for MY number?" "Yes, who's number did you think you were supposed to be looking for?" "I don't know, we were watching the tv with the numbers."

So.......R did not have any clue as to the process. She does not have a future working in the deli.

Her day was fine, so we think, she revealed very little. She did say that there was one girl that was "irritating". I tried to figure out who, but that was futile.

I went into school today for the drop off, (dropped from the sky once again) and informed her teacher that R has no idea what the car process is, and could she please explain it to her. "Sure". Thankfully her teacher is really sweet, so that is good.

Our school is neat in that you can eat lunch with your child when ever you like. Anyone can, grandparents, Dad's, pedophiles, etc.

I ate lunch with R today (ok had coffee, since it was 10:00 AM and all). She was pretty surprised. I sat at her table and assessed the class. Three children do not speak English, as in NO ENGLISH, again, I'm too tired to get political, but let's just say I'm less than pleased. There are 25 students in her class. 1 aide. Many of the kids are less than ideal, but R seems pretty oblivious, I did find two girls suitable (don't I sound horrible), and I told R she should try to play with them at recess "Why? Because she has braids like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz." "Yes, honey, that's why". It was funny when I was chatting with the kids I'd ask their names and they show you their "necklace" which was a little badge on string that has their name, address, car rider number, and teacher. All I could think of was "lost baggage", like what if we lose the badge, then maybe I should tattoo that information to R's tummy..but I digress. R made it a point to show me the "irritating" girl from yesterday at the other table. I had to agree, she looked a bit irritating, but I managed to say "Oh, I see".

Another little boy in her class, but thankfully not at our table puked. I had to help the teacher get the kids back to the classroom since the aide took him to the nurse. As I was trying to corral this group of wanderers back to their room, I was a the end of the line with the irritating girl. I asked her name, she pulled out her badge, "N", wouldn't you know irritating girl was the daughter of PJ wearing non-teeth brushing Daddy. Figures.

The best part of today...I hit the lottery.

Wave 7, SHE MADE IT TO THE CAR!