Sweet Girl.

Five years ago today, I became a Mommy. Time flies, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

R was supposed to be coaxed (ok induced) out on March 24, I had been going to the hospital the whole week before to "ripen" my cervix, I wasn't due until March 27th, but they were preparing me early as they were afraid with gestational diabetes that R might be too big.

We'll all the ripening in the world was not going to prepare my cervix, but Dr. Vietch decided to go forward with the induction on 3/24, a Sunday. We were excited and completely prepared. Well we were to arrive at the hospital at 8:00 AM, the phone rang at 6:00 AM, induction "off", "we're too busy.'' I was so angry, they tried to reschedule for 3/25, but I refused, that was The Suit's Dad's birthday. So Dr. Vietch personally called me to find out why I didn't want to come in on the 25th, and she knew not to argue with a pregnant woman that just had a canceled induction, we were scheduled for the 26th, a Tuesday.

After a million "did she have the baby" calls, we headed into Beverly Hospital for a 7:00 AM induction. Pitocin was started (felt nothing). I had my water broken, which I will remember was the oddest sensation in my life. Then I had one noticeable contraction and hopped on the epidural train. R never dropped, we never progressed I think we got to 3 cm, and at 9:00 PM, Dr. Schreiber (the on call Dr. and Head of Obstetrics) made the call that if there wasn't progress by 10:00 PM, we'd have a c-section. He also said that saying that often "scares" the baby out.

So we waited for an hour, called everyone to let them know of the possible outcome, and waited. He came in and sure enough, no progress. Then things got crazy. Nurses were literally jumping out of the walls to prep for the c-section, shaving, all kinds of less that known things were happening. The Suit was sent out of the room and given a jump Suit to prepare for the birth of our first child.

Wheeled into the OR, the anesthesiologist became my enemy. I had a terrible reaction to the meds, and was shaking, dry heaving, etc. I felt horrible. I was strapped on the table like Jesus on the cross, to say I felt exposed was an understatement. Then the section began. My sister had warned the Suit not to look over the curtain, and he did not. Then very quickly Dr. Schreiber said, "Danyelle you'll feel some pressure and some tugging". That grossed me out, but it was an accurate statement. Pushing and tugging, and I became a Mom!

I didn't get to see R right away, they whisked her to the isolette and she was shielded from my view by nurses and the doctor. She was fine, but that is the process in a c-section, no baby on your chest, no holding up. That made me sad. The Suit stayed by my side the whole time, he wanted to see R too, but he kept vigil. Then they were taking care of me and what seemed like forever, R was held over my face. She was beautiful. I began to cry, it was over.

The Suit and R went up to the nursery to get her cleaned up. The nurse left him in the hall for a moment, and he thought that meant he was to take R to the nursery. So in the elevator they went, father and daughter, alone. They were met at the next floor with an out of breath nurse, she ran the stairs, apparently the Suit and R weren't to have their alone moment just yet. Oops.

So R was taken care of in the nursery and I was sent to recovery. I waited alone for a long time. I felt sad, I hadn't been alone in nine months and then after a failed induction, I had my baby taken from me and I was alone in a room, "recovering". I worried about breastfeeding because all I had read said to start early, where was my baby? Then finally the Suit and R came back and we began breastfeeding. I was lost, I thought it was going fine, but had no clue what I was doing. We finally got our own room.

In the room we really got to see R, it was like unwrapping a present, that you don't want to share with anyone. We hadn't yet seen her fingers and toes. So alone, in our room, we began to take a peek at our new baby. We didn't want to ruin the swaddle but we did. 1o fingers........10 toes......what's that mark?....oh a stork bite........she was long.......and thin.......she had a tiny bit of fine hair.......she smelled wonderful........she was perfect.

And she still is.

Happy Birthday, Sweet R. I love you and I love that you made me a Mommy.