Ouch...hematoma!

From the title you're probably thinking, "oh one of the girls fell", I would have thought that too, but no, it's me. I have inherited a nasty genetic trait from my maternal grandmother and my father. That trait: sleep walking.

I'm a champion sleeper, I love to sleep, I'm really, really good at it, when I stay in my bed. My mother's suggestion tonight (and she was serious), "maybe you should sew some bells on your pajamas so when you wake up at night and start walking around the bells will wake you up?" Call me Fluffy the cat, can you imagine...me jingling down the hall?

I have a few funny sleep stories. In the summer between senior year of high school and freshman year of college, I was really stressed out (read: sleep walking like a maniac). I woke up every morning for a week with furniture all over the place (in addition to being fast asleep I also develop superhuman strength). I'd move my bed, bureau, all kinds of stuff. One time my Mom found me in the kitchen sorting laundry in the kitchen sink. I'm also kinda a belligerent sleep walker, if you approach me I get defiant and angry, and deny that I'm sleeping. "I am sorting my laundry, I PREFER to sort it in the sink!"

At UMASS in my Junior year I woke up with three firefighters in my room. Seems that we were having a fire alarm in the middle of the night and I slept through the whole thing. Normally you could be fined, but since I was obviously very much in my bed asleep when they came into my room I escaped a fine.

So you get the picture.......

So last night (I was not drinking) I got up in the middle of the night to pee (this I remember). Well I guess I fell asleep while on the potty. I woke up as my arm was getting tangled in the blind on the window above the bathtub, and I felt my shin on fire. It would appear that I stood up from the potty, walked towards the bathtub (three paces), stepped into a metal basket holding the kids bath toys, it flipped up and hit my knee, and I tripped, as I tripped I smashed my right shin into the edge of the bathtub, and as I did this I reached my left arm out to break my fall, which went through the blind and hit the window, where I became tangled, and then turned, hit the back of my head on the wall, and ended up falling completely into the bathtub.

Funny, huh? It gets better. I'm not a wimp with pain, I had 2 c-sections with Advil only during recovery. I was bleary eyed and hauled myself out of the tub and sat on the edge, looked at my shin (and saw a frightening indentation of the edge of the tub), and called, "Andy I need some help". So he came running and I felt like I was going to vomit and the pain in my shin was absolutely breathtakingly horrible.

I looked at my shin and felt worse, I wanted to get to bed because I felt like I would be less apt to vomit. Well I knew things weren't broken because I could put weight on my shin, but the burning pain was overwhelming. We walked towards the bedroom and as Andy went behind me so I could go through the doorway the pain overwhelmed me and I FAINTED! Yes, I fainted, smashed my head on the door frame and came too laying half in the bathroom half in the bedroom.

I. WAS. NOT. DRINKING.

So Andy was ready to load up to the hospital, but I knew I wasn't broken, and I knew I'd fainted because of the pain. So I made it to bed and today I've been sitting on my ass all day looking at my injuries. Let's list them, shall we?

1. Obvious shin damage that kills and I can walk, but do better with a shuffle.
2. A bump on the side my head, thankfully beneath my hair so not obvious, but painful.
3. Bruise on my knee
4. Pain on the back of my arm from hitting the window.
5. Another bump on the back of my head from the initial smash.

All this because I sleep walk.

I have to go now...those bells aren't sounding quite so silly now.........gotta break out the Singer.